birthday, sex & cancer, plus 25 other things

1 February 2009
Sunday

My first post of the year, & in the past month I've celebrated a New Year, a niece's 13th birthday, then my own 34th, followed by Chinese New Year. And along the way read some startling news about the link between sex & cancer:

Sex Talk: Masturbation (Gaydar Nation, 26 Jan 2009)

BBC News: Sex drive link to prostate cancer (26 Jan 2009)

Prostate Cancer Charity (UK, 27 Jan 2009)

Singapore Cancer Statistics (2001 - 2005)

Relatives who had cancer include my father (colo-rectal) & his brother (colo-rectal, deceased), plus 2 of their sisters (leukaemia, deceased & breast cancer).

Given all these odds stacked against me, it all seems rather likely that I will have cancer at some point in my life. I'm predicting either prostate (ouch) or colo-rectal. We'll see.

On a more random note... (from my Facebook account)

bloody annoying yet addictive
28 January 2009 at 02:14

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you!

1. I'm finding this tagging thing bloody annoying yet strangely addictive, but since it's now 1am on a Wednesday, & I don't have to be at work in the morning, I thought to myself "oh why not?"

2. I have two older sisters.

3. Which makes me the youngest of three children!

4. Cockroaches terrify me. Even dead ones.

5. I have five nieces. Absolutely gorgeous princesses. but I refuse to post any of their photos online, or even mention them by name here, cos you never know what kind of weirdos are out there. Actually, I *do* know what kind of weirdos are out there, which is why I'm so protective of them.

6. I've never had sex with a woman...

7. But I have worked in paid or volunteer jobs involving woolly monkeys, dirty toilets, second-hand crockery, injured sea turtles, homeless people, abused elephants, drunk students & HIV-positive people.


8. In August 2004 the Straits Times had a photo of me on the front page (but I didn't do anything wrong!)

9. Nine years ago, at the turn of the 21st century, I still did not own a personal computer.

10. This will be the year I mark ten years since graduating from university & starting full-time work . Yaaay!

11. Eleven is apparently a rather special number in my family.

12. In school where our surnames were arranged in alphabetical order, I often got numbered twelve.

13. The unluckiest thing that ever happened to me was winning front row tickets to a Sting concert... but I was in National Service at the time & couldn't get out!

14. I've been veggie by choice for the past fourteen years, & a massive fan of Marmite.

15. The luckiest thing that happened to me (recently) was winning tickets to see Kylie Minogue's concert... in Bangkok, which meant I got flown there & back for free, with a night's accommodation thrown in, & I could even bring a friend!

16. If I was to be reborn I would probably want to come back as Kylie since, as you probably already figured out by now, I'm a big fan. Unashamedly. Feathers & sequins all.

17. Half a lifetime ago at age seventeen, I was suicidal & never imagined I would be doing what I'm doing right now. I was also very moved when I heard ABBA's re-release of their single Dancing Queen, especially the line "You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen."

18. I came out to my parents when I was eighteen.

19. I'm a social worker by profession, & amongst my former secondary school classmates are lawyers, teachers, lawyers, civil servants, lawyers, doctors & at least 1 school vice-principal & 1 Member of Parliament.

20. Yes before you ask, I do get paid for being a social worker, as I'm not a volunteer. Now please don't get me started...& if there was a minimum wage in Singapore, I probably earn below that amount.

21. My story starts on page 186 of the seminal publication "SQ21: Singapore Queers in the 21st century".

22. The Inland Revenue Authority of Singapore gets more out of me through alcohol taxes than in personal income taxes.

23. I turned 34 last Friday,the 23rd of January. & I still feel FANTABULOUS!!!

24. Although I have a generous vocabulary of "feeling words"…

25. The only word that can describe how I’m feeling right now at the end of this list is "relief"!

New Year's Eve

New Year’s Eve 1998
Thursday 3.48pm
Egham, Surrey, United Kingdom

Here I am, back in sleepy Egham, tucked away in leafy Surrey. It has taken me a day & maybe more to recover from my week at the Crisis Quiet shelter in Greenwich. Managed to get back on the last train on Tuesday night after my last 3pm – 11pm shift, after a series of hurried goodbyes to fellow volunteers – Chris, Sarah, Kavin, Amanda, Suzanne etc, & guests – Chris, Silvio, Neil, Dean & others.

* * *
You know how I feel? Guilty – about a lot of things. About having a nice warm flat to live in (for the moment at least), a nice big bed to sleep in at night, food to eat, clean clothes to wear… guilty about having a bath, about having a fridge, freezer & cupboards stocked full of food. About being able to call home to ask for help/ money if I really need to.

Happy New Year to the world, one & all.

31 Dec 2001
New Year’s Eve
Monday
Singapore

Officially half day at work…. And wrote a long email to S. Called him on mobile on my way to bus-stop, something he’d said really annoyed me, so I cut the call short abruptly to save myself from getting more upset. Home, quick bite to eat, shower, dressed, off to Y’s for NYE dinner. Got a lift from S, others also there. Decent food, not quite enough alcohol, then we go on to Double-O to see the New Year in. I dance a lot, tired myself out & have heaps of fun just enjoying myself.

Happy New Year. I can’t think of any resolutions this year.

31 Dec 2002

Edinburgh, Scotland, United Kingdom

“Hey babe, missing you so much,
would love to be with you tonight,
but what can i do. Will go out now
with some friends, but wanted to wish
you a happy new year, and we will
talk soon, promise. Enjoy tonight."
31-Dec-2002
20:53

Going up to visit R & family in Edinburgh was such a great idea, I’m sooo glad I did it. New Year’s Eve I climbed up a very windswept Arthur’s Seat with friends of R’s, armed with bottle of whisky & white wine, & saw the spectacular fireworks go off all around the city at midnight. Absolutely glorious it was.

The it was off to visit somebody’s friend at his house, then down to the beach at R’s doorstep – thankfully someone had made a bonfire. Then back to R’s, more wine, cheese on toast… & what a great way of seeing in the New Year!

31 December 2004
Friday 3.59pm
Phnom Penh Airport, Cambodia

So our work in Thailand with the elephants, & 3 days in Cambodia visiting the Angkor temples, has come to an end.

Am sitting now in the Phnom Penh airport lounge, waiting for another delayed Bangkok Airways flight.

funny little girl

22 November 2008
Friday

"Hi jiu this friday is my gradution concert mummy has booked a place for you remember to come k"

Sent:
14:41:31
28-10-2008

Despite the mis-spelling and the lack of punctuation, this is the most precious message on my handphone at the moment.

My first full-length SMS from my 12 year-old niece. The first ever message I got from her before that was just a "k", typically in response to some forgettable note I sent her.

Yesterday she received her PSLE results. A landmark occasion for any young person in Singapore.

ABBA said it best:

Slipping Through My Fingers (Andersson & Ulvaeus, 1981)

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I’m losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I’m glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl.

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what’s in her mind
Each time I think I’m close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when she’s gone there’s that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn’t
And why I just don’t know

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers...
Slipping through my fingers all the time.

I Should Be So Lucky, Lucky, Lucky, Lucky!

19 November 2008
Wednesday


I won a pair of concert passes to go see Kylie Minogue perform in Bangkok on 23rd November 2008. In addition, they are also throwing in 2 free return air tickets from Singapore to Bangkok, as well as 1 night's accommodation at a rather posh hotel. Although rather hectic, it's still nice to be looking forward to flying to Bangkok on a regular airline (rather than a budget one) & staying at a 5-star hotel.

I WON!!! I'M REALLY LUCKY, LUCKY, LUCKY, LUCKY !!!

Oh & of course I'll still be going to see her perform in Singapore the following Tuesday too!

This was my (grammatically imperfect) submission to the contest, in response to "in less than 250 words, say why you deserve to win the Kylie concert passes."

I Should Be So Lucky if I could WOW the judges and be The One Spinning Around and doing The Loco-Motion in Bangkok to watch Kylie on 23 November 2008.

On A Night Like This, please tell me What Do I Have To Do, as I’ve Got To Be Certain and won’t be Giving You Up until the prize is In My Arms.

Please Give Me Just A Little More Time, I Can’t Get You Out Of My Head as All I See are Kids who are too young to Step Back In Time and appreciate such a gorgeous Red Blooded Woman who comes from a land down under Where The Wild Roses Grow.

If In Your Eyes I’m not good enough to win the concert passes, then please put your Hand On Your Heart and tell me. I would be Shocked and there would be Tears On My Pillow, but it’s always been Love At First Sight with Kylie, so it Wouldn’t Change A Thing for me. Just remember, always Your Disco Needs You and I love Kylie almost as much as I love Bangkok!

I hope my submission is Never Too Late.

Sincerely & Especially For You,
Singapore

dentarotica

12 November 2008
Wednesday

Recently a trip to the dentist for me has become a somewhat erotic experience. The rubber gloves, laying back & staring into his eyes, opening my mouth wide…

I just had my upper right wisdom tooth taken out earlier this evening. Contrary to horror stories (thank you, kind colleagues), there was no splattering of blood; the dental assistant didn’t have to rush in to lend her strength to extract my stubbornly entrenched tooth; I did not lose control over my speech or facial muscles & drool all over myself; and I was also assured that I would not choke on my own blood in my sleep.

It was my third time to the dentist in just over a year – it helps that he is rather pleasant-looking in a nerdy sort of way.

On previous occasions, during our routine spit & polish sessions, with a couple of warm fingers in my mouth he would say things like “just relax your tongue” while staring into my eyes.

Tonight, we went one step further. Asking me to sit down, he said to me, "go put your legs up". After I indicated that he was applying a bit too much pressure on my lip while stretching my mouth, he asked for some Vaseline to lubricate me so as to make it easier for him. At one point, I was so nervously distracted I even bit his finger while it was teasing my tongue, I mean preparing my mouth, for an anaesthetic injection.

I can't wait to go back again.

unemployed

16 October 2008
Thursday

Nine years ago this month, I was still anxiously looking for a job despite having graduated for 4 months, & had been back in Singapore for 2 months. It was a really frustrating time.

Earlier today, as part of my job I was showing a dramatised video clip of a young man who killed himself after being unemployed for 6 months.

In these current times of crisis & uncertainty, sadly there may be many more following in his footsteps.

12 October 1999
Tuesday 12.36pm

Rainy day, & although making it nice & cool, is keeping me at home. Given a choice wouldn’t mind going out, mainly to avoid answering phonecalls. Will explain: went for interview with Ministry of Foreign Affairs last Wednesday, nothing out of the ordinary or unexpected, but there were a couple tough questions & I stumbled quite a lot. Then another interview at MPH yesterday, sounded like a fun job but pay soooo much lower. Don’t know which one I’ll be offered, don’t want to think about it (yet) – well listen to me it’s almost as if I’ve been offered both jobs already. With my luck I probably won’t be offered either. But what if I’m offered the MPH one? The pay’s low, the job has nothing to do with what I really really want out of life (retail?) & the pay’s LOW. The only things going for it are: it’s shift work, which would make working life a bit more interesting. 2 days off per week, & the nature of the job is quite diversified & involves meeting lots of people in a bookstore. & anyway at the rate I’m going it doesn’t sound like I’m going to get the Foreign Service job. It would be nice to be able to pick & choose, but chances are I won’t have that luxury. So in the meantime, there’s more inane & frustrating waiting.

Been back 2 months & a day, & still getting nowhere.

[Afternote: Neither job was offered to me in the end.]